“Sick and Tired” joined the group “Those who are sick of 25 Random Things about me”
25: I didn’t need to know you were scared of closet monsters as a kid.
24: Wow? You’re humble, quiet, and a narcissist all wrapped into one?
23: I’m glad you love your bulldog puppy more than your parents.
22: I thought SPAM only occurred in my email.
21: They make creams and lotions for that issue on your leg.
20: Yes, it is sunny out and it’s winter…the irony?
19: I’m a fan of ketchup myself.
18: The scanner, both amazing and frightening.
17: Writing on a wall used to get your hand slapped from mommy.
16: Am I allowed a spiked club instead of a Pillow to fight with?
15: People You May Know, or just use them to bump your Friends tally higher.
16: Invite Your Friends to join Facebook, because they’re tired of the four people they hang out with.
15: Are you serious? As long as your brother doesn’t join Facebook, he’ll never know you felt that way.
14: I think the annoying chick on the Progressive car insurance commercials is cute.
13: I pick my nose…a lot!
12: Oh my – you’re hair hasn’t changed much from 1987.
11: Just completed a Mafia War on my neighbor, it’s not pretty.
10: Exhausted: John C. Holmes, the Real Story – I didn’t see that movie come up on the Which One Defines Me List?
9: Poke Me and I’ll kick your ass.
8: I just Saved The Planet by signing an electronic petition – it was that easy?
7: I was mentioned in the Note People I’m not real fond of…
6: No…
5: More…
4: 25…
3: Random…
2: Things…
1: Seriously!
Maybe celebs are right…lack of privacy would bug me to death
I look at the front page of Yahoo and the first headline that hits me is that Courtney Cox is declaring her preference against divorce. What I don’t understand is why our media outlets really think that this interests me. Who garners this information out of her and has to spew it all over the web?
I just don’t hold much credible stake in the thoughts of one actress on the fate of her marriage. This isn’t going to make me sit back and say to myself “Wow, if Courtney thinks that way- by golly I need to do it that way.”
Did Hollywood couples suddenly become the benchmark for quality relationships?
The bigger issue has got to be the outright lack of fundamental privacy. Money, power, fame, and a life that is not their own if you think about it. This goes for anyone in the public eye and does fame really work itself out to be something good for you? You have a lot of money- but others control it. You have your picture everywhere- and people use it however they want. Your personal life is not your own- rather a constant topic of conversation for others to exploit and hurl back in your face.
It bores me when I see this kind of news, which is probably exactly what she wishes the paparazzi would be…bored and uninterested.
Yes…those are called lights and you turn them on so I can see you!!
Amazing what these things can do
Let me add to the earlier posting about the inherit misuse of the all mighty turn signal. What I find even more ludacris is the absence of people’s headlights! I mean – how in the world is this physically possible in the driver’s seat of a vehicle? (besides the obvious which is simply not turning them on)
When I climb into a vehicle under the cover of darkness or really bad weather, I often find it very handy to SEE MY DASHBOARD. It’s also a plus if you can see the ROAD IN FRONT OF YOU!.
It’s also a double plus if every other putz out there can see you coming DOWN THE ROAD!
Let it serve as a friendly reminder that my 2000 lb SUV might enjoy eating your VW bug for lunch, simply because you neglected one simple thing when you started your car.
Maybe I need those infrared glasses you’re wearing but since I don’t own a pair and probably won’t for many years to come - turn your LIGHTS ON! (Do cops write a ticket for being a complete moron?)
Alright, I’m done.
10 most average,boring,dull,normal, and otherwise newsworthy people lately (unofficial)
No particular category or industry – just a small group of famous people of which I don’t understand how they got there. Either they look average, have no talent, or are the prodigy of someone else. Sorry that seems shallow of me but I am not famous so that gives me the inherit right to bag on them, right? I’ve had just about enough of the prettiest people lists. Oh and I particularly loathe Barbara Wawa’s list of the most fascinating people, is that so? Fascinating because they have a job that pays them big bucks and they are on camera all the time? Hey Barb, swing by my house sometime when the home warranty plumber is working on one of my toilet compression valves, now that is amazing to watch. The young guys who fling my trash bags every Wednesday morning, again, amazing how they keep up in the 99 degree summer heat. Now don’t get this confused with the RED list of the ugly celebs, which is funny as well. Lists such as these could literally go on and on forever. I tried to think of people who I find interesting yet do not always come across as people who are always that newsworthy. I know not everyone will find my comments accurate or reflective of how they view these people, bare with me as this is purely satirical, observational, and simply the 100% God’s honest truth because I wrote it!
Those who topped the list of not so glamourous for ‘08:
#10 John C Reilly
He is getting cast in virtually every other movie that comes out. I like to refer to him as Chest Rockwell as much as I can since he was one of my favorite characters in Boogie Nights. There is nothing stellar about this man. He’s a good actor, can be funny but I think most of his humor comes from the roles he plays. He is almost an A list movie actor by now, but he still reminds of the guy cutting deli meet at the grocery store. My wife and I walked by him in Manhattan about 3 years ago and yeah – he looks the same.
#9 Miley Cyrus
Yep, I can see it now – all the 12 year old girls are going to chase me down with an ax. I’m about to commit the grand daddy of all mistakes and admit, I don’t get this chick. What is fascinating about superb marketing of the teenage daughter of the achey breaky hair mistakey?
#8 Ryan Seacrest
It’s not that I think he’s a dud, on the contrary, the guy is pretty busy in Hollywood. He has a national radio show, does the Idol thing, and produces some shows here and there. Everytime I see him I imagine a group of fourth graders standing behind him with the rabbit ears. Seems like he’s one of these recognizable names in the business that doesn’t have much street cred yet. Silly me. Again, I still like the guy.
#7 Clay Aiken
First of all – I don’t give a rat’s posterior if he’s gay or not. He finally came out!! I have three in-laws that are gay…wow. He’s basically an education major with a good voice and struck it rich by not winning American Idol. Oh and he’s gay too.
#6 Gayle King
Now I won’t be too hard on Oprah’s pal. I don’t really think she’s a hollywood figure but she’s always popping up on TV somewhere. She’s not in movies (as far as I know), she doesn’t have a recording contract (as far as I know), she has no show (though her buddy sure does) however she is a managing editor of O magazine. (Hmmmm) That wasn’t too hard was it? I wonder if she pays most of the time when the two of them eat out. I bet Oprah is typically short on cash- seriously.
#5 Kanye West
I do like some of the guy’s tunes, but besides that he’s sorta off the radar for me. I’ll shoot straight and admit I am not a huge fan of R&B and hip hop but something about him almost seems…well…mean. I get bad vibes from him and it’s not all because of the “Bush hates black people” thing. If he does good things – they don’t seem to spotlight it. Sean “Puffy” Combs appeals to me more then this guy. Unfascinating.
#4 Dog the Bounty Hunter
AKA Duane Chapman- I struggle with this one. There is no questioning this guy’s appeal to the TV audience. He’s a pretty buff guy, has a state of the art mullet, and his wardrobe is a mix between native american, travelling carnival tea cup operator, and the toy section at Big Lots rolled into one. He chases down bail skippers with 5 gallon cans of mace, throws them down, and then rides in the backseat with them reciting the lord’s prayer. He uses a white board to map out his acqusition plans, details his capture strategy wih ugly looking flow charts, all the while not being allowed to carry a firearm because of 18 prior convictions for armed robbery. He fascinates in a pool hall kind of way.
#3 Joe Paterno
This guy has been coaching at Penn State since the late 1800’s. (43 years to be exact) He makes around $500,000 a year which is pretty bad considering he is the only coach in history to have won each of the major college bowl games. He has also won more bowl games then any coach in history (23). He does make money from promotional events and team endorsements but the base salary is pathetic. Problem with Joe is that he’s too normal. He is overly committed to PSU which is honorable and boring in the same light. He’s passed up NFL coaching opportunities on several occasions, which is just plain unheard of in this day of head coach musical chairs. He’s not flamboyant or all that outspoken, but he’s a coaching legacy.
#2 John Daly
How in the world he is still alive is beyond me. Smokes, drinks, eats a lot, and on occasion finds time to play sub par golf here of late. (Wait, I just described myself and each of my friends) So many articles have been written about Daly and his “I don’t give a crap attitude” that he becomes more and more of a golf icon without actually winning much golf. I feel like his light is going to burn out here soon, but he is still my underdog favorite and would I love to meet the guy for a PBR.
#1 Paris Hilton
I have nothing further.
..and the winner for the most ironic “OH SNAP” of the day goes to….
Helping the poor
The Pope.
Take just a moment to review the photo to the left. Pretend you’ll be tested on just exactly what is in the photo. Ok, ready for the quote:
“Today this (the global financial outlook) appears extremely fragile: it is experiencing the negative repercussions of a system of financial dealings – both national and global – based upon very short-term thinking, which aims at increasing the value of financial operations and concentrates on the technical management of various forms of risk,’ he said.
He added: ‘The recent crisis demonstrates how financial activity can at times be completely turned in on itself, lacking any long-term consideration of the common good.’
A short-sighted mentality meant global finance had lowered its objectives to the point where its capacity to be a stimulus for long-term growth and jobs had been seriously weakened.
‘Finance limited in this way to the short and very short-term becomes dangerous for everyone, even for those who benefit when the markets perform well,’ he said.
So the global financial world is self-centered and short sighted. Says he with a solid gold cane and a gold hat who doesn’t share his wardrobe with anyone.
Can I take your order? I need a wide screen LCD TV, very wide
Heh heh heh
Yo momma’s so fat that when the whales saw her- they started singing “we are family”
OK – I’m not going down the road of taking up blog space bagging on the obese. According to the medical charts, I think we all are. (bogus science if you ask me) What does crack me up is how ingenius the network execs can be in creating reality TV shows that jab at the very heart of what is important to us, or in this case, something a lot of people can’t seem to conquer.
Once a week I flip on NBC and watch The Biggest Loser. Am I nuts? Why in the world have we become utterly addicted to watching the plights of others?
Frankly, I don’t know if it’s the jiggly jiggly sensation I get from watching these folks struggle on a treadmill, or when I slip into a gazey like dream state as Jillian Micheals barks orders at them. Either way, I can proudly say I’m hooked.
I do find it odd that the best of TV in this generation is centered on everyday people (or washed up B-List celebrities) thrown into semi-realistic situations and followed from day to day as they either kill each other, mate, or someone gets voted off. Actually, it’s a damn good idea, why not cast people who can’t act (although there is drama), they look like us (sorta), and there is always someone getting naked, whether desired or not.
Look at all the shows that Americans have gravitated towards over the last 20 years or so. (wow, it’s been that long).
The so called “talk show” group:
Jerry Springer (not a talk show to me, but ranks as sheer trailer park genius, seriously)
Maury (Springer’s less naked little step-brother, but just as trashy and fun to soak up)
Ricki Lake (couldn’t suckle up to Ricki, but liked her more when she was pudgy)
Montell (tried so hard to be serious and believeable, but at times he seemed somewhat insincere)
You’ll notice I left out Phil Donahue, Mike Douglas, and Oprah. I don’t consider these three icons of the talk show genre anywhere near the “cult” status of the previous group. Unless I see Nicole Kidman rip off Kate Hudson’s top and swing it over her head while doing an uncoordinated beer belly striptease to a jeering crowd of fraternity guys and pimps- I ain’t watching.
Laugh it up!
The reality TV group:
The Real World (the grand master of the twenty something’s fav shows during the 90s, the Puck vs Pedro fiasco was the best thing on TV at the time)
The Surreal Life (nothing gets better than this VH1 classic.)
Survivor (I actually watched the first three seasons like clockwork every week, in one word- Ellizabeth)
The Amazing Race (another retarded idea that I can’t get enough of)
I never thought that I would once again see my hero of the big screen Ron Jeremy come back as strong and convincing as he was in the second season of the Surreal Life. The sexual tension between he and Tammy Faye (R.I.P) was so delightful to watch. I truly felt that he was looking at her, not as a feathered hair damsel of his 70’s past (bow chikka bow wow) – but rather as a meaningful woman with feelings, emotion, eye liner, and easily subject to the scars of heartache. (ya know, she had it rough there for a while)
Whatever! It’s the hedgehog of love flirting with the ex-wife of nutball Jim Bakker…awesome!
Flaa la la la laaaaa..la la laaaa…at! Sing it
I hate the word “flat”. The holiday retail season forecasts are looking “flat”. Buyers on Black Friday were spending more than last year, but the long range outlook is “flat”. No no – wait, I do like the word “flat”.
I like the word “flat” because it conjours up images of the way many things shouldn’t be in our round world…bare with me as I sort out a random ode’ to the flatness:
“He flatlined!” – really really not good…
“My damn tire is flat.” – again, not good if you’re stuck on a “flat” stretch of highway…
“Your hair is looking kind of flat today.” – really not good if you’re a female…flat means you slept in or the relative humidity is higher than it was yesterday…
“This pillow is totally flat.” – oh my, not good if you’re camping, passed out at a friends house on the living room floor, or nudged up against a cold airplane window (they’re all cold by the way)…
“His voice is kinda flat.” – yeah, that’s a nice way of saying that someone can’t hold a note, is tone deaf, or needs to back away from the jukebox…
“Dude, her chest is kinda flat”- we won’t entertain that one…
“Eww, this beer is flat” – now depending where and when this occurs, it has never really stopped many from lavishing in all that remains of the once bubbly, crisp, and foamy goodness.
Alas, we have good uses for “flat” as well:
“The pancake is flat.” – lumps are bad…
“My abs are looking flat.”- I don’t say this myself, but some do…
Anyway, can we agree on which adjective will become the mainstay when referring to the current economic condition? I also like “the economy is bleak”. I will settle for “the quarterly earnings are dim.” I prefer to hear that “the sales were sluggish”, “buyers were stingy” or even “retailers were in the red”. Amazing how just the right word can put me into a horrible mood and force me to covet my wallet even more.
Flat bread pizza anyone?
The magic answer that fixes everything, and she’s known it all along
Press Secretary Dana Perino has the answer to economic issues
Taken from a press briefing yesterday:
“MS. PERINO: I hope that everybody who wants to find a job is able to find a job. I can only imagine the anxiety for people who are looking for a job and can’t find one. And it’s hard to put myself in their shoes because I haven’t been in that situation. But obviously states — and there are many of them — that have high unemployment rates have a lot of people who are suffering. But getting back to work would be the best way to help all of us, collectively, them individually, and then us as a country.”
Oh hell, why didn’t you just say so!?
You stay classy, Washington
Among the finer things said during the bailout debate: “Madam Speaker, this is a huge cowpatty with a piece of marshmallow stuck in the middle of it. I’m not going to eat that cowpatty.” You stay classy, Washington
The next time John McCain says again the Senator does not understand
Barack Obama needs to grow a pair. Barack, ask John if he understands everything so well, and he has been in office for soooooo long then why doesn’t he explain the financial mess we are going through, why didn’t he stop the crisis before it happened, why didn’t he take his experience and knowledge and leverage that to make a change before the economy was screwed…. Seriously do not take these hits on the chin without giving him due credit for his accomplishments.
Heard It In A Bar RSS Feed- Brittany Murphy’s death is troubling March 13, 2010Not that it’s another tragic celebrity death, not that it’s another young life taken so early…these are all troubling and sad in their own right. It’s another tragic case of someone getting caught up in the web of drugs…the legal type! It truly saddens me that so many of these stars seek out more and more prescription [...] […]kansasview
- Internet fun for the weekend… March 13, 2010By far one of my favorite websites of late is called GraphJam.com. Essentially, the website attempts to break down the world and how we interact with it in a series of graphs. It is hilarious when you see how the world around us can be so easily summed up in a pie or bar chart. [...] […]kansasview
- So why are more companies not yet hiring? March 13, 2010U.S. Workers are still filing a large amount of unemployment claims and this is after five weeks of declines in this area. Where are the culprits and which industries are still hurting? It’s apparent as we have seen over the last year is that a gradual stabilization of the economy does not naturally translate to a increase [...] […]kansasview
- Facebook is down…Facebook is down…5:42 (cst) March 13, 2010This website is not a help desk for Facebook but it’s a civic duty to keep the American public aware of all possible natural disasters!! Facebook is down! Facebook is down! Don’t toss your Iphone in the river or hurl it at your wife and complain that it doesn’t work worth a s***. Here is the current [...] […]kansasview
- Hot new golfer to challenge Tiger’s limelight March 13, 2010It’s tough not to hear Tiger Woods’ name in the media of late with all this marital infedelity hoopla and now text messages coming out from his brood of women across the country. Frankly, it’s getting old and let’s focus our attention on those athletes who don’t get all the attention. Especially those golfers who shy away [... […]kansasview
- Eight years of success turns into one year of demise for Kansas coach Mark Mangino March 13, 2010The story and the jokes can finally come to an end. Sports fans throughout the midwest have been following the fate of KU head football coach Mark Mangino and allegations that he verbally and physically abused his players. Well fans, now that he has resigned and the weeks of rumors and headlines about his coaching future [...] […]kansasview
- Tiger’s “cat” is almost out of the bag March 13, 2010Of course we couldn’t wait too long before throwing in our own two cents about the Woods story, it wouldn’t be American! I’m getting to the point where I’m getting angry because this is now a public issue. It’s private until Tiger hopped behind the wheel and crashed his vehicle. It’s private until the police are called a […]kansasview
- Come on ABC…Lambert only kissed another guy, big deal March 13, 2010What’s wrong ABC? You can’t allow a very flamboyant and talented singer on GMA? However, you have prime time shows that openly display homosexual men/women and sometimes they kiss! Brothers and Sisters, Modern Family, Grey’s Anatomy, they all have gay characters who quite frequently engaged in PDA. Granted, these are actors but there is […]kansasview
- Wow! Those facebook pics sure got some attention! March 13, 2010Interesting story out of Quebec, if you haven’t read the article, do so. Once again, a story comes along that just sends my editorial neurons out of whack. So, you go to the doctor and are diagnosed with severe depression…so severe that she is forced to go on short term disability for a year from her [...] […]kansasview
- Palin…go away! March 13, 2010Seriously, I don’t care that you have a new book….I don’t care that you have a tattered relationship with your daughter’s “baby daddy“…and I find absolutely nothing of this fascinating in the least. It’s all over TV, she’s been on every talk show on earth….all for what? To increase exposure for a […]kansasview
- Brittany Murphy’s death is troubling March 13, 2010
