Lost is over and I actually miss it…

560.lost.promo.lc.031109Six years of roller coaster loop de’ loops, dozens of undeveloped characters, and a story line that was as easy to follow as a chicken in a barnyard.

If you didn’t watch Lost, you missed a show which challenged the fan to no end.  Season after season of questions, theories, hypotheses’, cliff hanging plots, and a series of hidden messages and themes.

It began with a crash and turned into an expose of human nature and the complexity of interaction.

At times, the show pissed me off because just when a storyline seemed complete, the curve ball was thrown and there was always something just off, just missing, just left unanswered, and just off center enough to encourage you to strap yourself in and get ready for the next season.  This made me mad because I loved the show so much and I wanted to see closure, but then again I didn’t.  I wanted to know what the smoke monster was, but the mystery of not knowing was more intriguing.

I had a hunch that nobody had survived the Oceanic crash, but the development of the island as a central theme of the story started to sway me differently.  How could this be an afterlife with all of this other stuff going on??  The Dharma complex, the others, the hatch, the well, and the light in the middle of the island.

Maybe I should have known better, maybe I should have not bought into the hype like I did and went with my gut.  Well, in a way I did, every week and every season I would tell myself, “oh yeah, this is some sort of test or challenge to these people, a redemption, a time of judgement.”   Then in a complete switch of events, whatever theory I had was shattered.  That was the real hook of the show, it was flawed, it was confusing, and it constantly tempted you to come back for more.

The show is over and those who followed these characters for six years know the truth.  It wasn’t a big surprise but it still surprised, if that makes sense.  Some thought it was anti-climatic and others I know were bawling their eyes out in sadness.

I will not judge the quality of the ending, but I am glad it ended.  I can put these people to rest once and for all…though I will miss them.

Teetering on the edge…how does Bret Michaels do it?

michaels2 I have to give Bret Michaels credit, he has battled a life of disease and he keeps bouncing back. 

At the age of six, he was diagonosed with Type I diabetes and has struggled to maintain his health all the while becoming an 80’s glam metal rock god, a history of hard hard partying, and what seems to be a constant limelight on his fame and health.

Over the years, Michaels has nearly died numerous times from a lethal mix of booze and his own personal battle with diabetes.  Just in the last year, Michaels has suffered an emergency appendectomy, just weeks later he’s rushed back to the emergency room with an intense headache which turns out to be a brain hemorrage.  Just the other day, he is again rushed to the ER while suffering a mild stroke and doctors discover a small hole in his heart called a Patent Forum Ovale.  The condition is treatable but Michaels will be forced to rest again.

I see Michael’s story as a sort of wake up call to the average person out there who is convinced they are in tip top shape.  Granted he has not taken the greatest care of his internal organs over the years, but looking at him, he’s thin, fit, and has the financial means to eat right and take care of himself.  What scares me is the thought that diabetes has taken a toll on him.  This internal tornado has been wreaking havoc on his body over the years and sadly I think his own doctors know why this is happening.  It’s a very hard condition to control, it takes constant discipline, sugar control, and lifestyle modifications forever.   Michaels is a shining example of the sick kid who has masked a serious condition for years with glitz, fame, sex, music, and any poppy distraction that the normal sufferer isn’t able to do. 

Maybe he’s been hit with incredibly bad luck the last six months, is he being tested by somebody bigger.  Be what it may, I hope he pulls through this and he can get back to the semi-slimy Bret we love to follow.

Why does a Bob Dylan X-mas album not do it for me…

I know he is a folk and rock legend who has influenced legions of artists and movements over the last four decades, but I don’t want to hear him sing holiday music.  Even more strange that it’s in the news now?

I can’t help it, Dylan has never done much for me from an audibly pleasing standpoint. 

A revolutionary, an artist in every sense of the word, and a staple in the folklore of popular music as we know it today.

Having said all that and knowing that Dylan is considered God (more so than Clapton)…I don’t want to hear an album of Bob Dylan X-mas music, which I hear will be released sometime this year (maybe around Christmas? Hahahaha)

Ironically, Dylan was Jewish who then became a Born Again Christian…beside the point.

Nat King Cole- Yes!

Sinatra -Yes!

Johnny Mathis- Yes!

Judy Garland- I can live with it…

Burl Ives – The man exudes X-mas music! (he was the snowman in Rudolph of course)

Bob Dylan – 68 years old, folk legend, still rocking and on tour (awesome)…do we need to hear Jingle Bells?…probably not.

Patrick Swayze’s battle should not be mirroring his new show “The Beast”

pat-blogAs you know, Patrick Swayze is battling Pancreatic cancer all the while trying to maintain a normal work and life schedule, good for him.  I think what caught me off guard is when Swayze admitted to Barbara Walters that he was still smoking while fighting Pancreatic cancer.  Smoking is a leading cause of the illness of which Swayze played it off as stupid stubborness.  Probably very stupid, but I wish him luck.

In the meantime, his new show The Beast on A&E is being met with lukewarm average ratings and is rumored to not make the cut for a second season.  The highlight being that Swazye has attacked the role with the same vigor and energy of someone not battling through chemo.  I haven’t seen it so I have no idea if it’s good or not, but I hate to think that the demise of a TV show will be centered around the probable demise of the leading actor.

Swayze has contributed a lot of great movies and it would be a crying shame to have his last curtain call be a failing show on a network that’s lost in the channel haze. 

I wish the media would quit infusing the two issues together, if his show sucks, let it suck without the inference of his illness at every turn.  Swayze is an actor and he is choosing to work while he is sick so let it be.  If his illness gets worse on the side, then he, and only he, will be the master of his destiny and he’ll decide whether to work or not to work.  He knows the business and if his show gets cancelled, he and the world will be okay.   Even a sick man knows how to move on and accept his losses.   

Somehow I see this story escalating into the headline “Swayze and his show near death”.  Please, do not make this comparision and let the man live his life and deal with his illness the way he sees fit.  If he chooses to smoke, let him…if he chooses to make a bad TV show…let him.   According to the article, the focus of the show is not Swayze so there is room to “write” him out if needed and the focal point of the show not centered on his character.  I do give the producers kuddos for taking that approach, however, I want to see Swayze get out of it just so it does not become his swan song should his health take a dramatic turn for the worse.

Cue the circus music! “Yuuuu dat dat dada dada dat dat dudu”

 

untitled*****OMG…what is that?******

I actually knew this would happen for some strange reason.  Jacko (aka Michael Jackson) has hit the jackpot again by selling out all of his announced shows in London.  A world tour?  Hmm… 

You have to admit, we all have (had) a soft spot for Mike. (or maybe his music)   The jacket in the Thriller video, Billie Jean, the Neverland Ranch (should have been called NeverPaidTheMortage Ranch). 

I’ve always had this theory of what happened to Michael Jackson and please chime if you want to.  First of all, a lot of younger people forget that Jackson has been a mega star for nearly 40 years!  Since the time he was in grade school in the late 60’s; he was a pop star singing with the Jackson Five.  It wasn’t until the late 70’s that Jackson broke out on his own and established himself as a solo artist. 

I laugh when I hear people say his career was short lived, um folks, when Thriller came out in 1983, he was already loaded and had been recording all through the 70’s.  Thriller was a juggernaut of an album and this was during an era when there was no other media outlets for music besides radio, records, and MTV.  The international success of Thriller tossed Jackson out of reality and into a world of seclusion and unimaginable wealth. 

The last 10 years or so has been rough for him with all the oddball stuff he’s done and the charges against him.   If you think about his life during the 80’s and early 90’s –  he couldn’t go anywhere without an entourage of body guards and motorcades.  Jackson never grew up.  He lost his childhood years before he was a solo star and I think it seriously screwed with his head.  He had no real friends besides Liz Taylor, Brooke Shields, and Emmanual Lewis (which teeters on the whole “child” thing which I find disturbing)…oh yeah and a monkey.

His life was not his own.  He couldn’t go anywhere or maintain normal relationships with people.  He was revered as a demi-God on an international level.   Practically every non-english speaking country around the world adorned him as much as his fans in the States did.   Same thing happened to Elvis and look what happened to him.  That kind of attention and constant spotlight has to seriously jack with your perception of reality.  Dude, I’m not a therapist but I try to stay open to all “possible” explanations of how humans behave.  This is supposed to be bar talk, remember? 

I have always thought Jackson sought some kind of personal solace in children because they posed no threat to his security or financial well being.  His relationships with adults deteriorated as he fell deeper and deeper into a trench of lonely super-stardom.  It’s like he’s still trying to recapture something that he lost years ago because his family thrusted the siblings into adulthood way before their time.   I’ve read stories about Michael sharing hotel rooms with his older brothers, and having to sit idle as they “entertained” groupies.  I’m sure life was not all lighted sidewalks and sequin gloves.

Here’s the part where I piss people off which is why I love writing a blog.  I’m not totally 100% convinced that Jackson is a full fledged pedophile, but I am convinced that over time he developed a warped perception of who he attached himself too. A lot of it goes back to his status in the world, he was led to believe that he was God because he was treated like God.  He rationalized everything he did as being “normal” and “socially acceptable” while the world saw it as freakish and criminal.   His constant obsession with appearance and how his face has morphed into a Lord of the Rings, elfin magic looking thing from what was once a baby faced young man.  It’s like he was in a perpetual state of hiding from the world by always changing his face and then having to overcorrect, again, again, and again, until he was so far gone that he ruined it. 

I’m not undermining those families that brought charges against him, not in the slightest.  He’s a fascinating case of someone who made a lot of odd and poor decisions some of which landed him in legal troubles.   He should have never of involved himself with children the way he did and it ultimately hurt him professionally.  

He has rendered himself old news because of his antics, but still an interesting subject who somehow still manages to wiggle his way back into the spotlight.  He’s had a big impact on pop music and sadly the carnage transformed him into what he is today…that of which I’m not sure what.

Can I take your order? I need a wide screen LCD TV, very wide

Heh heh heh

Heh heh heh

Yo momma’s so fat that when the whales saw her- they started singing “we are family”  

OK – I’m not going down the road of taking up blog space bagging on the obese.  According to the medical charts, I think we all are. (bogus science if you ask me)  What does crack me up is how ingenius the network execs can be in creating reality TV shows that jab at the very heart of what is important to us, or in this case, something a lot of people can’t seem to conquer. 

Once a week I flip on NBC and watch The Biggest Loser.  Am I nuts?  Why in the world have we become utterly addicted to watching the plights of others?

Frankly, I don’t know if it’s the jiggly jiggly sensation I get from watching these folks struggle on a treadmill, or when I slip into a gazey like dream state as Jillian Micheals barks orders at them.  Either way, I can proudly say I’m hooked.

I do find it odd that the best of TV in this generation is centered on everyday people (or washed up B-List celebrities) thrown into semi-realistic situations and followed from day to day as they either kill each other, mate, or someone gets voted off.   Actually, it’s a damn good idea, why not cast people who can’t act (although there is drama), they look like us (sorta), and there is always someone getting naked, whether desired or not. 

Look at all the shows that Americans have gravitated towards over the last 20 years or so.  (wow, it’s been that long). 

The so called “talk show” group:

Jerry Springer (not a talk show to me, but ranks as sheer trailer park genius, seriously)
Maury (Springer’s less naked little step-brother, but just as trashy and fun to soak up)
Ricki Lake (couldn’t suckle up to Ricki, but liked her more when she was pudgy)
Montell (tried so hard to be serious and believeable, but at times he seemed somewhat insincere)

You’ll notice I left out Phil Donahue, Mike Douglas, and Oprah.  I don’t consider these three icons of the talk show genre anywhere near the “cult” status of the previous group.  Unless I see Nicole Kidman rip off Kate Hudson’s top and swing it over her head while doing an uncoordinated beer belly striptease to a jeering crowd of fraternity guys and pimps- I ain’t watching.

Laugh it up!

Laugh it up!

The reality TV group:

The Real World (the grand master of the twenty something’s fav shows during the 90s, the Puck vs Pedro fiasco was the best thing on TV at the time)
The Surreal Life (nothing gets better than this VH1 classic.)
Survivor (I actually watched the first three seasons like clockwork every week, in one word- Ellizabeth)
The Amazing Race (another retarded idea that I can’t get enough of)

 I never thought that I would once again see my hero of the big screen Ron Jeremy come back as strong and convincing as he was in the second season of the Surreal Life.  The sexual tension between he and Tammy Faye (R.I.P) was so delightful to watch.  I truly felt that he was looking at her, not as a feathered hair damsel of his 70’s past (bow chikka bow wow) – but rather as a meaningful woman with feelings, emotion, eye liner, and easily subject to the scars of heartache. (ya know, she had it rough there for a while)

Whatever!  It’s the hedgehog of love flirting with the ex-wife of nutball Jim Bakker…awesome!