10 most average,boring,dull,normal, and otherwise newsworthy people lately (unofficial)
No particular category or industry – just a small group of famous people of which I don’t understand how they got there. Either they look average, have no talent, or are the prodigy of someone else. Sorry that seems shallow of me but I am not famous so that gives me the inherit right to bag on them, right? I’ve had just about enough of the prettiest people lists. Oh and I particularly loathe Barbara Wawa’s list of the most fascinating people, is that so? Fascinating because they have a job that pays them big bucks and they are on camera all the time? Hey Barb, swing by my house sometime when the home warranty plumber is working on one of my toilet compression valves, now that is amazing to watch. The young guys who fling my trash bags every Wednesday morning, again, amazing how they keep up in the 99 degree summer heat. Now don’t get this confused with the RED list of the ugly celebs, which is funny as well. Lists such as these could literally go on and on forever. I tried to think of people who I find interesting yet do not always come across as people who are always that newsworthy. I know not everyone will find my comments accurate or reflective of how they view these people, bare with me as this is purely satirical, observational, and simply the 100% God’s honest truth because I wrote it!
Those who topped the list of not so glamourous for ‘08:
#10 John C Reilly
He is getting cast in virtually every other movie that comes out. I like to refer to him as Chest Rockwell as much as I can since he was one of my favorite characters in Boogie Nights. There is nothing stellar about this man. He’s a good actor, can be funny but I think most of his humor comes from the roles he plays. He is almost an A list movie actor by now, but he still reminds of the guy cutting deli meet at the grocery store. My wife and I walked by him in Manhattan about 3 years ago and yeah – he looks the same.
#9 Miley Cyrus
Yep, I can see it now – all the 12 year old girls are going to chase me down with an ax. I’m about to commit the grand daddy of all mistakes and admit, I don’t get this chick. What is fascinating about superb marketing of the teenage daughter of the achey breaky hair mistakey?
#8 Ryan Seacrest
It’s not that I think he’s a dud, on the contrary, the guy is pretty busy in Hollywood. He has a national radio show, does the Idol thing, and produces some shows here and there. Everytime I see him I imagine a group of fourth graders standing behind him with the rabbit ears. Seems like he’s one of these recognizable names in the business that doesn’t have much street cred yet. Silly me. Again, I still like the guy.
#7 Clay Aiken
First of all – I don’t give a rat’s posterior if he’s gay or not. He finally came out!! I have three in-laws that are gay…wow. He’s basically an education major with a good voice and struck it rich by not winning American Idol. Oh and he’s gay too.
#6 Gayle King
Now I won’t be too hard on Oprah’s pal. I don’t really think she’s a hollywood figure but she’s always popping up on TV somewhere. She’s not in movies (as far as I know), she doesn’t have a recording contract (as far as I know), she has no show (though her buddy sure does) however she is a managing editor of O magazine. (Hmmmm) That wasn’t too hard was it? I wonder if she pays most of the time when the two of them eat out. I bet Oprah is typically short on cash- seriously.
#5 Kanye West
I do like some of the guy’s tunes, but besides that he’s sorta off the radar for me. I’ll shoot straight and admit I am not a huge fan of R&B and hip hop but something about him almost seems…well…mean. I get bad vibes from him and it’s not all because of the “Bush hates black people” thing. If he does good things – they don’t seem to spotlight it. Sean “Puffy” Combs appeals to me more then this guy. Unfascinating.
#4 Dog the Bounty Hunter
AKA Duane Chapman- I struggle with this one. There is no questioning this guy’s appeal to the TV audience. He’s a pretty buff guy, has a state of the art mullet, and his wardrobe is a mix between native american, travelling carnival tea cup operator, and the toy section at Big Lots rolled into one. He chases down bail skippers with 5 gallon cans of mace, throws them down, and then rides in the backseat with them reciting the lord’s prayer. He uses a white board to map out his acqusition plans, details his capture strategy wih ugly looking flow charts, all the while not being allowed to carry a firearm because of 18 prior convictions for armed robbery. He fascinates in a pool hall kind of way.
#3 Joe Paterno
This guy has been coaching at Penn State since the late 1800’s. (43 years to be exact) He makes around $500,000 a year which is pretty bad considering he is the only coach in history to have won each of the major college bowl games. He has also won more bowl games then any coach in history (23). He does make money from promotional events and team endorsements but the base salary is pathetic. Problem with Joe is that he’s too normal. He is overly committed to PSU which is honorable and boring in the same light. He’s passed up NFL coaching opportunities on several occasions, which is just plain unheard of in this day of head coach musical chairs. He’s not flamboyant or all that outspoken, but he’s a coaching legacy.
#2 John Daly
How in the world he is still alive is beyond me. Smokes, drinks, eats a lot, and on occasion finds time to play sub par golf here of late. (Wait, I just described myself and each of my friends) So many articles have been written about Daly and his “I don’t give a crap attitude” that he becomes more and more of a golf icon without actually winning much golf. I feel like his light is going to burn out here soon, but he is still my underdog favorite and would I love to meet the guy for a PBR.
#1 Paris Hilton
I have nothing further.
Heard It In A Bar RSS Feed- Lost is over and I actually miss it… July 30, 2010Six years of roller coaster loop de’ loops, dozens of undeveloped characters, and a story line that was as easy to follow as a chicken in a barnyard. If you didn’t watch Lost, you missed a show which challenged the fan to no end. Season after season of questions, theories, hypotheses’, cliff hanging plots, and a [...] […]kansasview
- Teetering on the edge…how does Bret Michaels do it? July 30, 2010I have to give Bret Michaels credit, he has battled a life of disease and he keeps bouncing back. At the age of six, he was diagonosed with Type I diabetes and has struggled to maintain his health all the while becoming an 80’s glam metal rock god, a history of hard hard partying, and what [...] […]kansasview
- A softball player who just happens to know the law, sign her up… July 30, 2010Does this woman really matter to you? If you look deep into the background of a possible supreme court justice, do you want actual bench experience or do you prefer someone who knows the law and has written a few hundred papers on well…the law? Princeton graduate, Harvard Law Dean,…on the surface at least Elena Kagan [...] […]kansasview
- When it rains for Tiger, it pours… July 30, 2010The muscle of this man has shrunk and shows more sign of atrophy as each new story surfaces. This blog did a pretty good job of leaving Tiger alone and I have to say after the recent events, I still stick to that credo. The bomb of the last couple months has dropped, the shrapnel has [...] […]kansasview
- Where have we been? July 30, 2010Well, a few good men and an even better woman started the idea of this blog and we owe it to someone to unspill the contents of our head, or at least mine. The time has come to once again say all the things I want to say and it’s an invitation for you as well! It’s [...] […]kansasview
- Brittany Murphy’s death is troubling July 30, 2010Not that it’s another tragic celebrity death, not that it’s another young life taken so early…these are all troubling and sad in their own right. It’s another tragic case of someone getting caught up in the web of drugs…the legal type! It truly saddens me that so many of these stars seek out more and more prescription [...] […]kansasview
- Internet fun for the weekend… July 30, 2010By far one of my favorite websites of late is called GraphJam.com. Essentially, the website attempts to break down the world and how we interact with it in a series of graphs. It is hilarious when you see how the world around us can be so easily summed up in a pie or bar chart. [...] […]kansasview
- So why are more companies not yet hiring? July 30, 2010U.S. Workers are still filing a large amount of unemployment claims and this is after five weeks of declines in this area. Where are the culprits and which industries are still hurting? It’s apparent as we have seen over the last year is that a gradual stabilization of the economy does not naturally translate to a increase [...] […]kansasview
- Facebook is down…Facebook is down…5:42 (cst) July 30, 2010This website is not a help desk for Facebook but it’s a civic duty to keep the American public aware of all possible natural disasters!! Facebook is down! Facebook is down! Don’t toss your Iphone in the river or hurl it at your wife and complain that it doesn’t work worth a s***. Here is the current [...] […]kansasview
- Hot new golfer to challenge Tiger’s limelight July 30, 2010It’s tough not to hear Tiger Woods’ name in the media of late with all this marital infedelity hoopla and now text messages coming out from his brood of women across the country. Frankly, it’s getting old and let’s focus our attention on those athletes who don’t get all the attention. Especially those golfers who shy away [... […]kansasview
- Lost is over and I actually miss it… July 30, 2010
