Let’s connect through our social network…but I’m only keeping you around for seven years then you’re gone!

June 4, 2009 · Posted in Entertainment, Featured, Social Issues, Society, Things to think about, Topic Blogs · Comment 

Another installment of my rant and raves about all things related to Facebook and the like.  facebook-logo-2Interesting (but kind of worthless) studies being done on friendships and social networks.  This one does fascinate me simply for the fact that I think it rings pretty dang true.  Most of us have long lasting friendships that we cultivated in grade school, junior high, high school, or college and for the most part, those relationships are still in tact.  They might be strained by distance, family, or career paths, but they remain solid in some fashion.

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The researchers found that most people’s “close” network of friends changes approx every seven years and those people are replaced by new ones.  However, let’s not forget that in those social groups still remain the long lasting friendships that never go away, like I mentioned earlier. 

I tend to look at this study in the context of social networking sites and the impact they have on our life at that particular moment in time.   Most would agree that social networking is dictated by a combination of factors: your past, your location, your interests, your lifestyle, and your job.   

What’s the first thing that most people do when they open a Facebook or MySpace account?  You immediately attempt to locate all of your “real friends”, either those from the past or those you just met.  Instantly a chain reaction is kicked off in which you add everyone to your list. 

Next, you analyzed those you work with and determined who met the “cool factor” enough to be added to your friend list as well.  I did it and I know you did too.   Only a handfull of those “professional based” friends will still be around over the years, some will become good friends, some will become references or your professional “posse” I like to call it.   Some you will never see or talk to again…and yet they were a “friend” at one time.  Kind of a loose, interpretation of a strong word and it’s thrown around very easily. 

Are you necessarily the best of friends with all of these people?, of course not.  The same holds true for trusted co-workers, band mates, buddies on your softball team, etc.  There is a sense of collective good feeling to reach out to those who you share a past (or a present) with.  But, we all know the virtual connection is a fleeting one.  You allow this person to penetrate your social network just enough to share a few stories, maybe a referral for a job, make some happy hour plans, or swap old stories of the past until you run out of things to say.   plaxo_logo_animated_thumbnail

The act of adding friends in the virtual world is dictated by the context in which we meet those people.  Just one year ago, half of the people in my social network (if you call it that) didn’t even exist to me.  Take a step back and look at who comprises your social network…are they co-workers?….family?….neighbors?…direct reports?…your current manager?…a friend of a friend of a friend who walked your sister’s dog one night last July? 

Your social network is expendible and the members come and go like the wind.  You change jobs, you move, your family situation changes, you meet someone new, you part ways with someone.  All of these “conditions” dictate the make up of who your friends are at any given moment. 

As you’ve guessed by now, I can be a little cynical of social networks and what their real value is.   It is not a cyanisim grown out of hatred or despise for the world of social networking, but rather based on experiences or the experiences of other people I know.  I have seen people brought to tears by messages left on social sites, I have seen people misinterpret something causing anger.  I have seen people say things on a social site of which most people would not have shared with anyone had it not been for the website they were on.  I have seen people alienate themselves in jobs based on a purely accidental posting of something better left unsaid. 

I have grown to respect the social network because it can serve a purpose, some of which are heeded warnings.  Do keep in touch with trusted co-workers even after you leave a job, do keep in touch with people who you share a history with, do keep in touch with people who are real world friends, and do use a social network for the benefit of the common good (a charity, a cause, etc).  Don’t use social networking to air your dirty laundry, don’t use social networking to spread hate and scorn for others, don’t use social networking for your own personal  or professional gain and not recognize the actual “person” who made it possible (this applies more to LinkedIn), and finally don’t use social networking as a tool to elevate your virtual status among your peers…because frankly you don’t have a status, none of us do.  

When I have examined my own Linked In network, my Facebook network, my “real world” friends (some of which also live in the virtual world with me), I come to some conclusions.

My conclusion is a simple one, social networks are 5% useful, 5% virtual voyerurism, and 90% pure, internet based entertainment (as is this rant although I tried to infuse some truths). 

The only internet past time that conquers social networking is PORN.

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